What we call the beginning is often the end.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from.
– T. S. Eliot
Tina Fey speaks words of wisdom, the message transcending louder than ever to my ears.
I saw “Sisters” somewhere around Christmas last year, caught into a loop of binge-watching Christmas favorites and catching up on some movies and TV shows I hadn’t had the time to see when they were a la mode – this is a quirk of mine, it’s not like I’m avoiding what’s trending, I just tend to follow a personal pace when it comes to fashion, movies, TV shows and books; the occasional fan-girling also helps in this process of catching up faster but let’s leave this topic for another article.
As I was saying, “Sisters” hit me on a personal note. In the age when Social Media dictates trends and has enslaved us all, we live to please. We judge, we critique, we fancy ourselves all-knowing Kings and Queens but we live shallow existences – most of the times. We reach a certain age and we begin to evaluate what we did so far. Did we get that awesome job? Have we seen the world and traveled to exotic locations? Are we married to the love of our life? Or do we struggle to define ourselves way past our early 30s prime? How does it feel to scroll through the posts and see how our former high-school buddies are doing? Some for better, some for worse and some are doing the same-old rut, stuck between being too afraid to grow-up but wishing we’d made that step years ago.
See…I saw myself in Kate Ellis and Tina Fey spoke words of wisdom through the TV screen.
Watching the type of party I never truly fancied as a teenager, all felt familiar. The life-struggles, trying to find that awesome, I can have fun they pay the bills job, juggling family responsibilities. Basically fighting Father-Time and wishing you could live, if only for one night, like in those days you thought yourself immune to grown up toils.
Kate Ellis was me. When I couldn’t keep a job, when I didn’t like my job, when I didn’t want to grow up, when I wanted one more shot at my teenage glory days and dreams. I made it through this self-grown-up trials jungle just like Kate. It wasn’t an easy road but for one night I partied like a Viking because I knew I could die tomorrow and for that one night, it felt right. Sometimes, you need to do that crazy thing you wouldn’t do any other Tuesday but maybe, twice on Sunday. If you manage to find/craft/discover/create a venture outside work/family/responsibilities grab it with both hands and never let it go. This is your own Island of Sanity. It keeps us safe from the modern times of insanity.
Tina Fey continued to speak to me and last night, it was time for a movie I waited for many months but sadly it didn’t get a release date in Romania – to many of you out there, crying you might not have taken a photo of your favorite actors or actress and live in the cities you get red carpets, rejoice! You have a red carpet event! It might come with some sacrifices, having to stay in line for hours but you can say you tried; we have our press movie events in cinema-malls and our notion of press preview is seeing the movie sometimes in the same night it’s available for the public; yeah, I know. Fun, right? I fucking wanted to review this movie like the rest of the world but nooooo. We didn’t get this little piece of cake in our cinemas. Like many others such as…High Rise, I saw the Light, Solace (the first three which come to my mind at this hour).
“Whiskey Tango Foxtrot” worked as a personal therapy.
Say you’re stuck in a place you can’t see any escape, personal growth or promotion.
Say you’re stuck in a relationship with no sparks besides the casual spats and working around the schedule to meet, water the plants and chat on Skype.
Say you decide to shout “Fuck it!” and take your chance on a totally different environment.
At first, you feel like a fish out of the water but it grows on you. From outcast you become the life of the party. It feels good, right?
You experience a personal growth build on hardship and uncharted roads.
Then everything changes and you’re no longer relevant.
That’s when you crash and burn. It’s reality at its finest delivering a kick in the ass. That’s when you realize your job might be in peril because you have to stay relevant, your relationship is similar to that fling you had in college and the place you thought had unshackled you from the servitude bonds is stripping you of all the potential you still have and need to explore.
WTF indeed. WTF is the you, it’s me, it’s Kim Baker. WTF is for all of us who decided to take a walk on that uncharted road. It’s our tale of woe, defiance, bravery, hardship, acceptance and finally figuring out what works for us.
In a world in which you have to stay quiet because it’s the best, it’s safe, it’s what you should do, Tina Fey reached out again and thank God, her words echoed with a mighty force in my mind.
You might not be happy with what you have but that’s not an excuse to linger. The bravest thing one might to is to challenge himself and decide to do something about it. You hate your work? Quit! Find something better. Find that job you’re good at it, that job for which you love to get up in the morning, even if you might curse the deadlines and extra hours. The moment you become the slave to routine and the expectations of others, you die. And it hurts. Like a motherfucker.
Four eyes ago, I throw it all away and I began a journey. There were many bumps on the road, many tears spilled, many days in which I had forced myself not to murder someone and cursed my woes but in the end it was worth it. I might not have everything I wish but I’m working on those particular aspects. And it’s fun. It’s worth every tear, rejection and moments I had to pull myself together and get back in the saddle.